Confessions of a gay

One of the many labels I have chosen to identify with on my walk here on Earth happens to be the G in LGBTQ community. LGBTQ is an acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Queer persons. The LGBTQ community is basically a group of sexual orientation and identity misfits to hetero-normative society. Prior to this acronym the word Queer was used to place anyone non-heterosexual (not straight) into a classification. This was historically a derogatory term used to insult people but many still identify with the word. It’s all about personal preference, not about what you think people should be labelled. For some, the term lesbian is highly offensive and may choose to identify as queer or gay or neither.

The bottom line is that we cannot dictate to each other what we think people should be. The purpose of the acronym LGBTQ is not to divide people by category but to bring awareness to the wide spectrum of sexuality that people identify with. Any sexual orientation or identity that is not heterosexual, generally gets placed into this community. Others include Asexual, Demisexual, Autosexual, and many other sexual orientation variations known to man. Sexuality is extremely complex and varies from person to person like the many grains of sand on the sea shore. Whilst this may be too intimidating for most, knowing what every single concept means is not what we require of each other. The acknowledgement of it’s existence is what is imperative. You don’t have to know who or what I am, just acknowledge that I am here. This is what every human ultimately desires. The need for special and specific categories or labels is totally unnecessary, but it is a product of human intelligence. In order to understand something, we label it and store it in the archives of our brain. However, we may not actually understand the correct information. This is why it is extremely, if not impossible, to get rid of labels as much as we try to do so. It is understood that the default sexual orientation is heterosexuality as it is necessary for the process of procreation thus leading many to believe in it being superior; and that anything different is ‘lesser than’. The way in which we express our sexuality is totally different for each person and although I can neither account for every variation nor speak on behalf of others, my expression and experience of what it means to be gay will never be another person’s expression and experience of what it means to be gay. It’s like a row of houses on a neighbourhood street. Every house is built with a foundation, but the materials, shapes and colours will vary. Although two houses may be brick houses, the type of brick used for each could be different. It is for this reason that categorisation does an injustice to the finer details we often lose. It can be generally agreed upon that saying “all Asians look alike” is not only racist, but ignorant. Yet people don’t see this being the case for sexual orientation. The problem is that, as sexuality has evolved through the natural evolutionary process, our conceptions have not. Sexuality is a spectrum, not two mutually exclusive groups of either straight or gay.

When you look at life through a black and white lens, you often overlook and fail to notice the possibility of colours. Blue is not just blue. There is dark blue, deep blue, ocean blue, sky blue, aqua blue, and millions of other variations. My expression of gay is just that… it is my expression. I am an individual with my own specific attractions, likes and dislikes. I am just one face of the infinite faces of sexuality.

Here is a wonderful story if you are interested: https://raisingmyrainbow.com/2020/02/20/gender-is-over/

Photo by Soonios Pro from Pexels

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